Pollyanna Grows Up; movies; Hallmark crap; Taylor's book, Whole Brain Living; Hemlock Club meeting; the "lump of ignorance"; constipation; Power vs Force book is BS.
Self-mastery; play and writing; Black Widow, Office Killer (with Carol Kane), Strange Girls, and other DVDs; Hallmark nonsense; four brains in our heads.
YouTube discoveries; Mayim Bialik; extended cognition; new novel & the coming doom; movie criticism strikes sparks; book idea; horror in India.
Irritated at being irritated; stimulating the memory of readers; the days of Nog; addicted to soft living; books on how to write; writing longhand & keeping going; thoughts of a new novel try; and synchronicity.
Old western movies; mindfulness; news hunger, terror, and hate; false memories and sense of self; horror movie remakes; Hemlock Club fizzle.
Book buying addiction; Natalie Goldberg; Yellowbeard & others; Bernard Herrmann; a writing mood; burden of knowledge; WordPress woes; Neurotribes & Asperger's; etc.
Whenever I’m about to meet with Nog, as this morning, I always worry about not having anything to say. Yet we always manage to fill four hours and I, at least, find the time all too short. If I were a younger man, I’d want to ...
My recent episodes of binge eating and my reading of The Willpower Instinct suggest that I’m having willpower (“wp”) troubles. The thing is, I’ve been very good about some wp challenges, such as controlling my food shopping (except recently!) regarding sugar and sodium, and not overspending on books—always at best a partial success, and often a partial failure. So, I really need to work on the wp problem, and I think the easy solution, or better, the first easy test, is exercise. That, and continue focusing on cutting down sugar in my diet: no more binges (which always involve sugar), no more chocolate cream pie at Lorene’s, and keep my food shopping under control.
... neuroses are essentially psychic bandages—how we unconsciously respond to hurt in order to prevent more hurt. But of course it is necessary eventually to get beyond that stage. This is a commonplace. Another valuable lesson is how to respond to verbal aggressions like criticism...
Lots of dream stories, a bit of philosophy, chasing around Bakersfield to return a purse, trike adventures, movie reviews, and so on.
A most pleasant surprise: Black Book, a WWII thriller with a stunning, charming, gutsy performance by 30-year-old beauty Carice van Houten. Very tense at times, with lots of twists and turns, lots of death, lots of bare bosoms. Good recreation of ’44 Holland. Happily, no concentration camps. Directed by Paul Voerhoeven of Starship Troopers … fame? I picked up this DVD somewhere cheap, perhaps the last library book sale. This one really got under my skin, well, she did, especially.
I've been off the Internet for a month due to software problems. This is the first of two long posts to get me caught up to the present in my Diary posts.
What did I want to say about Natalie Goldberg and meditation? Not much; more along the lines of “I have a great intolerance for boredom.” If I rush from book to book, seeking I know not what, how much more do I rush from entertainment to entertainment. I find it easy to lie in bed and let my mind roam where it will, for up to an hour; when I am up and about (which in my case means sitting in my best chair with my feet up), I must be mentally active, even if that only means watching Democracy Now or some stupid movie, or flipping through the cable TV guide trying to find some diversion. This is time wasting…but now I’m so hungry that I must interrupt this entry.
If I cannot rely on my calm, reasoned judgment of how the world works, but must instead follow every will-o-the-wisp twinge to its illogical conclusion, then I don’t know how to live. I neither feel a need of any god, nor can I accept any intellectual argument that pretends to prove the existence of a god or anything supernatural, or to prove the “necessity of religion in life.” I don’t claim to have “all the answers.”
“Strange, looking back now over the years, how birds have again and again become meaningful to us. It was an owl’s call and an eagle’s feather that launched this journey of ours in the first place. There was the Maestro’s condor in Peru, which I now see as another kind of personal fortune telling."
Yesterday I had pretty well decided to start a Nietzsche Club; today, I’ve decided not to. Reading the Cambridge Companion to Nietzsche and finding that “experts disagree” on many important concepts in his works (including the “will to power” and the “superman”), I’m thinking that maybe he’s not worth so much attention after all. As it is, I’ve already read all his best books, and a couple of them more than once, though I am reading The Will to Power now as my bedtime reading. Perhaps I could start a philosophy reading group. I’ll think about it.
The question I wish to address is what it is like to be a human being, and in particular, me. The question arises because of Thomas Nagel’s famous essay “What is it Like to be a Bat?” The philosophical difficulty seems to be in imagining what an adequate answer to the question would look like.
I rarely get hives, like almost never, and I’ve never been too sure about what caused them. Likewise this time. My “dinner” yesterday was thoroughly disgraceful, almost half of a Dutch apple pie plus, plus a whole package of Pepperidge Farm cookies. That was dinner. Did that cause the hives somehow? I guess so; but this is hardly the first time I’ve had total junk for dinner, not even the first time in the last month.
I was “always” trying to make sulfuric acid and never succeeding, and trying to make gunpowder, but it never worked. Acids were pretty easy to make: combine two dry chemicals in a retort, and add heat. This gets you nitric and hydrochloric acids, but not sulfuric. I “burned” a fingertip with nitric acid, accidentally, but all that I remember is that it changed to orange. Gunpowder is made up of three dry chemicals, but mine never burned like gunpowder is supposed to.
What I most like here is the idea that we learn to be bored. It may be possible to study our boredom to learn ways to turn it into something positive, either to increased self-understanding or as a cue to something subtle. [Mary Catherine] Bateson suggests, when bored, taking a closer look at what’s happening in the environment. But then, she wasn’t in jail. How about the Perfect Moment?