Diary 6/30 to 7/2/22: Typos; Nietzsche quote; testicle experiment; specializing journalists; Matt Taibbi quoted; Black Panthers; bingeing; blood pressure and nausea; the end of Highsmith diaries; Sharper Image; a day of labors; a dream.
Diary, 4/19 to 4/23/22: DuckDuckGo; "clithopper"; rats in the walls; a gross part; Cornel West; class struggle; three movies on DVD reviewed, and Renoir trashed unnecessarily.
Updated today, 5/23/22. For mature adults only: my experience with erectile dysfunction, masturbation, and sildenafil.
A dream; disgusting other post gets 8 likes; my "throbs" listed; Eisnitz: Slaughterhouse notes and quotes; update of some stats on E. coli
Pixie, Summerland, Climax, a dozen movies; Pablo goes to San Jose (knew the way); rethinking that friendship (again); not much else.
Ferlinghetti; It; mindfulness; Debby Ryan; testosterone, masturbation, perversion, impotence, Viagra, constipation, i.e., disgusting old age. Also, integrity. And Amazon sucks. 100 followers!
Highlander: I’ll be as honest as I can given that I’ve only ever read your tweets. You seem to me to be a liberal philosopher, slightly damaged, but feisty, a bit cantankerous, but we all get that way with age, and Impassioned about not only your beliefs but with ideas. You like to share.
Reading Lolita, enjoying it but also by turns annoyed and bored. It’s a peculiar book, makes me think that Nabokov was so afraid of his theme that he was unable to handle it with complete freedom—though it is, in fact, franker than I remembered.
Also yesterday, I received a bill for $137,177.96 from Adventist Health White Memorial. Medicare is shown on the bill as paying $0.00...
Christmas day. I had thought about going out and hanging around on Union in the hope of seeing Mr. D and giving him a twenty. Now it occurs to me to invite him over, perhaps to watch a movie or ...
Sometimes when I ponder events of my childhood or youth, I feel a twinge of rage against that stupid boy, wanting, sorta, to choke or punch him. Is this guilt, or shame, or what? Shopped at Barnes & Noble yesterday and spent about $120.00, coming home with three books...
Even as I think of saying, “The world doesn’t need more contenders,” etc., another voice pipes up: “So you’re content to waste your gifts.” No, I guess I’m not content, it’s probably accurate to say that I’ve never been content, with the possible exception of the time after I had decided that I wanted to be a novelist. I quickly discovered that what I really wanted was to have the perks without doing the work.
I had a fantasy just now, an imagined conversation with he-who-shall-remain-nameless. I was telling him that I was worried about climate catastrophe, and he was denying. So I was thinking along these lines: “What, the oceans aren’t full of plastic? The species aren’t dying? The hurricanes are a hoax? The science is a conspiracy? What, the prayers of the Jews during the Holocaust were effective and they didn’t all die?” But...
A dream: it’s Final Jeopardy, but the middle contestant says that he doesn’t have a pen. Alex Trebek springs into action, going behind the contestant’s kiosk (lectern?) and pulls things out from underneath, including a ring about as large as a soccer ball. I think that he’s looking for a pen, but apparently not: he then rolls the kiosk away to allow another to be brought in, and I am surprised...
I’ve been depressed, I have to admit it. Around 6 pm I was ready to go to bed. But I got into Korzybski, finally, and now it’s 9:00. I stuffed myself with chocolate chip cookies instead of eating dinner. It’s been a long time since I’ve binged like that. How many cookies? About eight. Breakfast was also a mess—I felt kind of sick when I got up, so I started with two cookies and a banana. Then a diet Dr. Pepper...
Pablo had brought a book on synchronicity at my request. I read the first two or three pages. The author described an incident in which he was driving on a turnpike on an ordinary day, etc., and the thought “Rushdie” occurred to him. He knew of the author of that name, but could not imagine why the word should pop up at that time. Then a car raced by on his right, and the license plate said, “Rushdie.” He then recognized this to be a “warning” by a “sympathetic intelligence,” to wit, “Rush-die.” Something would “rush,” with a danger of death.
After listening to twenty minutes of discussion on Thom Hartmann’s program about Joe Biden’s behavior towards the woman who has come forward to complain, here’s the point that I haven’t heard made: Where has this fool been, that he is so out of touch with feminist opinion? If he had any sensitivity toward the man-woman issue, he would have stopped that hands-on business decades ago. That he needs to be educated now, after a lifetime in the Democratic Party, speaks volumes to me. Patriarchy runs in his veins, it seems, and so he is the last candidate we need now.
This isn’t much, but a few readers may like it. A couple of pages from my prison diary, dated 8/8, 8/10, and 8/13/2015:
What can one say about the human condition and human suffering to make it tolerable and not meaningless?
“Damn it, there’s no sugar.”
Fred looked up from his smartphone. “What, we’re out of sugar?”
“Yes.” Nadia sat down at the dining room table and put her cup down.
Janice meets Leon over Free Books, and Free Love follows. 3800 words. Sexual content.