Struggling with Veganism

Diary 5/9/22 part 2: Vegan breakfast; on to publication; lazy; Project Censored; RWNJ website and “abortion terrorists”; assessing credibility.

Copyright 2022 (text only) by Alan Carl Nicoll
All Rights Reserved

{5/9/22} Continued.

Of course, I still have 400 pages or more to go in the Highsmith diaries, and another hundred to go in the Philosophical Investigations.  So I guess I’ll pass [on reading William James: The Principles of Psychology].

This morning’s smoothie included two spinach leaves but no protein powder, otherwise the usual orange juice and banana, plus half a kiwi fruit including most of the peel (because peeling a kiwi fruit proved to be rather difficult).  It was good, went down easy.  With this, wanting to avoid the usual cup of Cheetos, I had a slice of Dave’s Killer Bread, “Good Seed” variety.  After eating the bread but before finishing the smoothie, I was again getting Cheetos.  An alternative might be low-sodium Triscuits—it would be good if I quit Cheetos altogether.  After that, I had a Mounds bar.  I left out the protein powder because I have a piece of salmon in the fridge which I’ll likely have for dinner.

Photo by Maria Victoria Portelles on

One thing that was annoying was having to use my big kitchen knife (the kind favored in slasher movies) to cut the kiwi fruit in half, then having to wash and dry it because I never leave it in the sink as a temptation to psychopaths (I lied; I don’t really know why except I guess it was expensive).

Yesterday I didn’t have a smoothie because (a) I was a bit rushed for time (not really) to get to the Hemlock Club meeting, and (b) “this body right now didn’t want to deal with making a smoothie.”  So I had granola bars, banana, and orange juice.

Photo by Ron Lach on

As might be guessed from this, I’m still struggling with going vegan.  At least, that’s how it feels.  Maybe I’m just struggling with myself—whatever I mean by that.

After a nap, I got up and decided that I need to get moving on getting my book published, so I picked up the 2020 Writers Market and scanned the chapter on twenty agents who are “actively seeking” new books and authors.  I highlighted those that seemed possible for my weird book, probably more than half of the twenty.  I suppose I could email to all of them at once to see what happens; or I could go buy the 2022 WM for thirty bucks.  I’m somewhat dubious about going with these twenty; surely when the book came out they got deluged with queries.  OTOH, it’s been two years, maybe they’re looking again (if they indeed were).

As a first step I should put together a query letter; or as a first step I should reread again the damn book (it’s been about six months since I read it last time).  Either would be a good step to take.  Neither would be a bad non-step to not take.  There is no real alternative, if I am going to sell this book.  I could, of course, give it away.  Money and fame (or in this case, notoriety) never were the point.

I think that I am seriously in need of exercise.  Perhaps I’ll lie down until the feeling passes, or go read more of the Philosophical Investigations.  I’m feeling particularly lazy today, but this body feels particularly lazy every day.

Mebbe the thing to do is to go to a thrift store and buy a small knife to cut and peel my fruit.  Then I could stop at the library on the way back.  This would involve considerable walking, thus getting me the only kind of exercise I get these days.  I’ll try to work up enthusiasm for this…[yawn].  Wal-Mart is looking more likely.  Not today, it’s 3:24 pm (two buses there, two buses back).  So I walked to the front office to check my mail.

In checking websites that I don’t often look at, I came across a podcast from Project Censored and started listening to it.  Unfortunately, it’s an hour long, and media like You Tube and podcasts can’t be browsed or skimmed very effectively…so I turned off the podcast and went back to the website, and found the Project Censored Newsletter.  Great!  I can pick over the bones of their hard work and zero in on the stories I’m interested in.  Now in the past I’ve liked the Project Censored (hereafter PC) books, and they have a book of the most censored stories of 2022 available, which I haven’t seen; a quick check of the San Joaquin Public Library website lists nothing from PC, though they have other books about censored news stories, the most recent being from 2016.  Wow, impressive.  (sarcasm)  The PC book is available through Barnes & Noble, though not in my local store.  Their website is offering 10% off if you buy two or more books at one time; adding the 10% off for my membership, that’s cool.  I’ll keep it in mind.

So now what?  A DuckDuckGo search on censored news results in PC being listed fourth.  First listed is  So I take a look…and feel like I’ve fallen off the edge of the world.  An immediate red flag:  “Left-wing abortion terrorists…”  I click through and find these two paragraphs as the lead on this “story”:

The difference between political activism on the left and right can be summed up with a single word: ‘Violence.’

The right seeks to convince others their policy prescriptions are the best by using reasoning, logic, examples and superior arguments. The left doesn’t care about debate, logic or reasoning and instead instinctively resorts to violence in order to force their will on others.

I think I can agree with the first paragraph, but the second is 100% contrary to my politics and worldview.  I have wandered into RWNJ territory; I flee for my sanity.

So what’s up with DDG?  I suppose they list results in order of popularity; the second listing is also, but the page that comes up is all headlines from, which is the source for the quoted paragraphs above.  The third listing is from (please note the difference); scrolling through many things I don’t recognize or understand (i.e., I can’t tell just by looking whether they’re RWNJ or LWNJ or what).  Then I see items from Caitlin Johnstone and Matt Taibbi.  I consider Taibbi reliable, Johnstone possibly a LWNJ—still making up my mind about her.  So this place may be okay.

I have a lot of stuff showing up in my email, stuff I’ve subscribed to within the past month or three.  But I think I’ll add Project Censored, since I tend to trust them because of their books and because they are on KPFK FM in Los Angeles.  We’ll see the proof in the pudding.

Somebody downloaded my “tasty-words-nouns.PDF” today.  Interesting.

Taking a second look at the PC website, this is interesting (does my “sentence” have a subject?):  “April is the month when student researchers and faculty evaluators from all the colleges and universities that participate in the Project’s Campus Affiliates Program complete their research on the independent news stories that will be candidates for the Project’s 2021-2022 Top 25 story list. As a result, we have an impressive batch of freshly-posted Validated Independent News stories on the Project website. Here are some highlights …”

If you want to follow up that lead, check the Project Censored Newsletter.  I’m encouraged that PC enlists college students and staff in the search for censored news.  This enhances PC’s credibility.

Copyright 2022 (text only) by Alan Carl Nicoll
All Rights Reserved

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