Classical Music We’ll Never Hear

Somebody took a look at this, reminding me to reblog it. Funny, for the right audience.

The World Needs You

This is something I wrote on my long vacation (i.e., in prison). Puns, mostly terrible, presented without apology, excuse, or explanation.

Beethoven’s Diminished Fifth. The Postman Always Sings Twice. The Finished Unsymphony. Death and the Hoyden. Mahler’s Symphony of a Thousand (Hours). Songs for Dead Earthworms. Boris Not Quite Godunov. Khovanshchina? Gesundheit! That Grand Canyon Thing with the Donkey. The Maid with the Flaxen Pubic Hair. The Belly-up Cathedral. La Merd. Don Juanovanni. Aïda Bagel with Lox. Des Knöbben Flügelhorn. Für IOUs. The Moonshine Sonata. Pollyachoo! La Boohoo. Tosca Ninny. Tostada and Fugue in the Diner. Wig on Bald Noggin. The Cohonescracker. Trouble in Trenton. Bachianas Baltimoras. Les Qualuudes. The Hungarian Raspodie. The Planetoids. The Door Knockers of Rome by Ottava Rimo Spaghetti. Ein Heldentenor. Siegfried’s Forging a Czech. Götterdämnitall. Terrace Bulbous. The Flying Little Dutch Boy. Mother Goose and Lohen Grimm. Tannsalon. Carnival Funeral March. William Won’t Tell. Iphigenia…

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