Diary, 5/22 to 5/23/19

Copyright 2019 by Alan Carl Nicoll
All Rights Reserved

T Rex


3:50 am and a dream I wanted to write down.  I was in a hospital and I was asking a friend to take the syringe I had in my hand, to insert the needle into my right elbow and draw off some talinn.  I told him that I had done this earlier—I remembered doing this earlier, though then I began to worry that I had only dreamt doing so—and given it to the T Rex “out there” (I think meaning in the adjacent or another room).  I intended that he should draw this fluid out of the other elbow, but I presented my right elbow (the same elbow used earlier) to him, not realizing this until after I woke from this curious dream.  As he brought the needle to my elbow, the man next to him (were they both in the same hospital bed?  so it seems) reacted with fear of the needle by cringing away.  Nobody seemed to be surprised that there was a live T Rex, and I was not curious about why, on my own initiative, I had done that previous procedure, nor why I intended to repeat it.  Nor could I remember injecting the T Rex, which I thought I had done; one would think this would be a most memorable adventure.

I have never dreamt of sticking myself with a needle, nor of asking anyone else to do so, nor have I ever dreamt of a T Rex either present or off-stage.  At least, that’s how it seems to me.

So I went back to bed and slept until 6:00, and had another dream:  I was in a house with a few people, acquaintances rather than friends, and in one room this guy had an enormous quantity of comic books stacked in a corner, about a pickup truck’s load, and it looked like they were all Silver Surfer comics.  I said that I wanted them, and the guy said I could have all the Silver Surfer comics for $30.  I said okay.  But then I began having second thoughts and wanted to add conditions, like, there have to be at least ten intact issues (i.e., not missing any pages), in readable condition, then I thought of saying that if they were all SS issues, I’d give him $100…while negotiating with him and myself, I woke up.

One of the best dreams I ever had was while I was reading Silver Surfer comics [about 50 years ago] and I dreamt that I was the Silver Surfer, or just about.  But I am not aware of any other dreams involving this Marvel character.

So, payday.  I am eager to spend money, yet, I need to be frugal.  ‘Twas ever thus.

My spreadsheet says I have $670 “available,” that is, after taking out all committed funds for rent, etc., and allowing sufficient for groceries and dining, that’s what remains.  Out of my last Social Security about $700 went to “cash” ($460) and books/DVDs and merchandise.  Of the cash, $100 went to Salomé, and I suppose at least $100 went to Pablo.  That’s still a lot ($260) left for “I don’t know where.”

I kept a record in March where I spent $460 in cash:  $200 for the trike, $83 went to Dagny’s, $91 to Pablo, panhandlers ($13), and Captain Marvel ($28.50), the rest ($44.50) on cheap meals, tips, and snacks.  Somehow, I don’t feel all that enlightened about May, but the short answer is looking like, “food, movies, and generosity.”  There was a library book sale in there, too.

If I really care, I just have to do what I did in March, and write it all down.  An easier answer is to use the debit card for everything that I can.

But I did one good thing yesterday:  I put holds on two books in the library, books that I had written down for purchase.

I have $42 in mind for Hamilton; I absolutely need a Dictionary of Biology (so I can understand Gould’s book); I perhaps really don’t need Quine’s books right now, or more Kaufmann, or philosophy generally, or a book on the French Revolution.  Magazine subs—yes, at least Foreign Affairs, because TV news isn’t getting the job done, not even Free Speech TV.  Now, Thriftbooks is offering 15% off—I don’t see myself resisting that.  And then there’s van Vogt and my quest to have all his books.  Emily Dickinson’s poems can wait yet another month, or year.

Interesting.  I wanted to copy this:  “A person who has no science seems to me but half a human being” into my Collected Quotations and found that I’d already done it.  It’s from 5/11/19 diary.

I’d be willing to bet that the words “Christ” and “Christianity” do not appear in the U.S. Constitution.  Stuff it, “Christians”!  Stuff it, Pence!  But let’s not confuse politics with sincerity.  Meaning their sincerity, of course.

So I ended up getting two by Quine, one by Nietzsche, Burst Out Laughing by Barry Stevens (which I’ve been wanting for years), a Dictionary of Biology, the Mathematical Physics book, and three DVD packages, all for about $60.  Bought a new book by Dick Gregory at Barnes & Noble, then Pablo and I went to El Pollo Loco for dinner.  A fairly typical payday.

Perhaps more interesting is what I didn’t buy at B&N:  I picked up current copies of Foreign Affairs and National Affairs, considered the $20 cost, and put them back because I have two or three magazines that I bought at B&N recently and have not yet read.

{5/23/19}  Weight 221.0.

Seems to have been raining, intermittently, every day for the last week.  Rain this morning, giving me permission to ignore the trike again.

Listened to Mahler’s Ninth Symphony last night, and wondered what I ever saw in Mahler.  Well, when I was a teenager I went to Hollywood, Phil Harris Records, and bought Mahler’s First Symphony just on speculation, and liked it a lot.  This was in the day when about half the classical records you saw were monaural.  But the Ninth is so long, so quiet, so dull, and ends inaudibly.

Had a long sleep last night, interrupted once at 4:00 and again at 6:00.  Finally got up at 6:50.

Depressing news today from Democracy Now! on recent, turbulent elections in Indonesia and India.  Both looking something like Trumpism run rampant, the triumph of big-money phony democracy and violent fascism.  Indonesia looking like nascent civil war and 2020 America, possibly; India looking very “Orwellian,” as in 1984.  Guest saying that Obama and other western countries welcomed India’s P. M. Modi, the anti-Gandhi, anti-Muslim, anti-poor, following the models of Mussolini, Hitler, and Trump, and now reelected because their media are “Fox News on acid.”  As I said, depressing.

So what do I do today?  Get on the Internet so I can spend more money on books I won’t have time to read?  Stay home and do laundry, possibly in the rain?  Go to bed to nap and mope?  I do feel like moping and not working.

Copyright 2019 by Alan Carl Nicoll
All Rights Reserved

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