Diary: 5/26 to 5/29/19

Two dreams last night: First, four invisible men attempting to track a woman in a large building. Eventually the woman goes outside and somehow acquires a man in a wheelchair, which she is pushing along the street. Two invisible men are following, trying to separate the woman from the wheelchair by tripping her or causing her to bump into one of the men.

Diary, 5/24 to 5/26/19

What insights? “The map is not the territory.” “The word is not the thing.” I might say, a general distrust of language and perhaps of my own understanding, my own ability to understand. In a word, I might say that Korzybski helped form and reinforce the skepticism I’ve apparently had ever since that awful day, at age ten, that I “realized” that prayers are unheard by their intended audience.

Diary, 5/22 to 5/23/19

3:50 am and a dream I wanted to write down. I was in a hospital and I was asking a friend to take the syringe I had in my hand, to insert the needle into my right elbow and draw off some talinn. I told him that I had done this earlier—I remembered doing this earlier, though then I began to worry that I had only dreamt doing so—and given it to the T Rex “out there” (I think meaning in the adjacent or another room). I intended that he should draw this fluid out of the other elbow...

Diary, 5/19 to 5/21/19

I’ve been depressed, I have to admit it. Around 6 pm I was ready to go to bed. But I got into Korzybski, finally, and now it’s 9:00. I stuffed myself with chocolate chip cookies instead of eating dinner. It’s been a long time since I’ve binged like that. How many cookies? About eight. Breakfast was also a mess—I felt kind of sick when I got up, so I started with two cookies and a banana. Then a diet Dr. Pepper...

Diary, 5/13 to 5/18/19

To do news the right way is expensive and produces little return for great effort. Who does it right? “Breaking news” typically comes from newspapers: the New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and so on. “Muckraking” comes from Mother Jones, The Nation, and others I don’t even know. Rachel Maddow and Chris Hayes on MS NBC are pretty good about coming up with stories that others haven’t covered. And, of course, there’s Democracy Now, which I watch almost every day.

Diary, 5/6 to 5/12/19

At the last Hemlock Club, J said he doesn’t want to play board games, though he made an exception for Scrabble, “because it’s educational.” He was distinctly lukewarm about spending more time together. Also, when I brought out the puzzle box, and talked about it, neither of the “Hems” were the least bit curious about it. Clearly, I have mistaken my friends.

Diary, 5/1 to 5/5/19

My grandmother (father’s mother) once bought me an LP record of Berlioz’s Symphonie Fantastique, which came as a surprise and puzzlement, since I had never heard of the composer or the work. I think that I had just “gotten into” classical music, and maybe didn’t even have another record of same.